will power is for people who don't want to get laid
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
