at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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