these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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