it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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