if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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