Quick, to the slutcave!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
