So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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