i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
vagina is talking i cant
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
