big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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