If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
