She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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