and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
