Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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