I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
