he wants to bone in the snuggie
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
