he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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