brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
