Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Drunk is not a location!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
