Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
