If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
