i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
