What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Too much gin, very little bucket
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize