I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
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