I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
