So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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