he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
