So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
