I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
