Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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