i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
