Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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