Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
