Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
