I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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