idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
