I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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