I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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