Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
