i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
