you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
