Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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