Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
