He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
