Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize