There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
