it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
How naked do you want me to be?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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