Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Are we still banned from the library?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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