I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
