This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize