Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
