You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
