I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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