Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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