i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
