I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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