hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
