And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
