my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
bring money and cleavage
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
