Fine. I'll sleep in my office
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
we're so committed to being not committed
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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