Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
