well I can't set my house on fire every night
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
