my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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