This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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