just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
