i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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