On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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